I would never have thought it would have been me. I mean, these were never words that I would have thought I would have uttered, “I want to be a stay at home mom.” Granted, I have always wanted to have a hobby farm, garden, take responsibility for my own food source, all of these really old fashioned ideas that have died out in favor of the “feminist” movement. I always said that I would send my children to the same school that I taught at so that I could be actively involved in their lives. Then, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. The truth is, up until the moment that she took her first breath, I still believed that I would go back to work in a timely manner, but she spent the first 3 days of her life away from me and I spent the longest 12 hours of my life waiting to hold her. Needless to say my whole world changed (much to my husband’s horror).
Now I am home and going through more changes than I ever thought possible. I am even thinking about teaching college online…. which scares me to death. There are so many changes that take place and for the most part I never notice some of them. The ones I never notice are usually the good changes. Here in the last 7 months, I have been bombarded with such huge changes that I almost want to throw in the towel. Sometimes, going back to work just to make it a little better seems like the right course. Then I hold my sleeping daughter. I know that I am doing the right thing by being home with her. The even bigger message in this, is the fact that God loves me in the same way I love my daughter. He brings me the changes that are necessary to help me grow and become the woman that he has planned for me to be. I am so thankful that even in the changes, God has not changed! I feel his hands holding me and telling me that everything is going to be okay. What a blessing!
So now, we are living with my parents which has been the biggest change of all, especially for my husband. I am the proud owner of 10 chickens (pictures to come later)that my mother has protested from the beginning and a new tiller for a large garden spot that my father has assured me he will never be using. I take care of a house full of too many animals that we would never trade in a million years, 3 adults that have supported me when I needed it the most, and 1 small baby girl that has just learned to crawl (Lord, help me!). I am so thankful for the changes and I look forward to the changes to come in this simple country life!
“I praise you, Lord, for the changes. Even when I strain against the reins and won’t cross the mud puddle, you have so much patience with me and help me to take the steps forward toward you. Lead me to you, Lord! Help me to embrace the changes in my life as your will and rejoice in you! I love you, Sweet Jesus.”
Welcome to my crazy chicken coop!